Open Relationships

I've always wondered about these, I always wondered why people do them and how they're so... okay with it all. Well, I came across a guy named Jackson online and plucked up the courage to finally get in on this 'relationship status' that was once so foreign to me. And this is how it all went down.

BOLD - ME
Normal - Jackson.

What is an open relationship exactly?

Well funnily enough despite having a "Hall Pass" I haven’t strayed yet. It simply means if I meet a person I am attracted to (and being bi sexual that could be anyone) as long as I am honest with my partner it is ok to play.

How did you two decide this in the first place? Who wanted to do this? And how did both of you feel about it all... when it was on the table?

After she almost strayed it was almost just like adding a reality to our situation. To be honest our relationship ran smoother after the fact.

Are there rules involved? Do you and your partner have things like that set?

Honesty is the only rule really.

What is the difference between and open relationship and friendship? If you’re having sex with others how do you keep your relationship special and well... together?

Yeah I guess as I haven’t strayed it is a bit hard to gauge but we also look at introducing others into the sexual side of things together as well as apart. I guess it came down to a realisation of different sex drives and needs for fulfilment but it is strange how I am allowed yet I rarely do search for others. We have been together 8 years 4 of which we have had an understanding about our sexuality. We just be there for each other always like normal and have the exception of being allowed to talk t others and play if there is a spark.

If he's slept with others and you haven't IF HE HAS haha does he tell you about it?

Yup that is the agreement. But the clincher is I am in a relationship with a lady. Should have touched on that. I am bad at this. Haha

Oh so there are agreements? Is that it besides Honesty and Communication? Like well some open relationships I’ve been invited into where no kissing, and no cuddling the guy you guys are being with. Any of that?

Hmm no not really any restrictions I don’t know if that would come naturally or not but it is something there are no hang ups about.

What are some things that you don’t get from your relationship with your partner? Compared to an open one?

I guess less sex.

Really? Why is that?

Well I think part of the reason I wanted it was to not feel like I had to pressure her as I had a high sex drive but it was that and the fact she almost cheated that made me want to have an open relationship as I did not want to limit her either.

Do you get worried that being intimate with anyone else might make one of you two stray from each other?

No that comes back to honesty for example if she found someone she preferred to be with I would understand and let it be so I wouldn't see the point in staying.


What do you guys do exactly with your relationship? Like does it sometimes feel a little awkward at all?

No it is just normal aside from the fact we can play outside of it.

How long have you guys been in an open relationship?

About 5 years but been together 8

Oh wow :O that’s awhile that you haven't played.. Damn

Yeah weird aye? I guess it just made us more comfortable then yeah... not saying we wont just we haven’t

Yeah :O well I think that’s enough questions don't think I can think of anymore haha but wow thanks :D I think I have a little more understanding now... oh, except.. if you guys ever got married, would you guys still be open, even when joined in that way?

Yeah I think so.

Sweet as, thanks lots

AND heres me thinking it was only gay people in these kind of relationships -_- silly me. Well that's what i've gotten so far :) hopefully it helps others learn a thing or two as well.

My Coming Out Story - Anonymous

I’d always felt different to everyone else. I knew something was different and I kind of had a clue what it was. I was very camp and androgynous. I just wanted to be like everyone else. I had a few girl mates and we’d say we were girlfriend and boyfriend being young, and sure I did see girls as hot and I still do, I’m not the kind of gay guy who only sees boys as attractive, no way haha like have you seen the booty on Beyonce :O hot damn. But while I saw girls as attractive I knew there wasn’t any emotional attraction to them. When I realized I might be gay, I really didn’t want to be. I hated the thought because all my life I had been taught that it was wrong to choose that, but I knew I definitely didn’t choose this. So I tried hard to be straight, my perception of ‘normal’ but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t rid myself of the emotional attraction I had for males.

I was bullied a lot for the way I acted and because I have a soft voice, I was called queer, a freak, gay; faggot, anal boy, gay-siah, so much shit like that and I left school because of it and had to just be taught at home. I felt that being away from boys my age I’ll lose the attraction, but I really couldn’t have been more wrong. In fact my attraction grew stronger being isolated. I was confused, I felt alone. I didn’t want to be gay, I couldn‘t. So I told myself I liked girls still and told girls I liked them, because I felt that I did, I forced myself to like them even though I knew I was just lying to myself.

I had guy mates and we’d talk about girls and I’d lie about how much I liked chicks just to hide it from them and hoping maybe it would cure me. I just denied it to everyone including myself. Hearing the word ‘gay’ made me feel so shitty because growing up in a religious household I was raised to know that being gay was wrong and a sin that deserved death. I prayed so much to god to make me normal, to help me. But nothing changed.

Glee was a show that I loved but left me a little confused, there is the gay character Kurt and I didn’t act exactly like him and I guess I was focusing mainly on the stereotypes so it made me feel a little better. I didn’t dress like him and my hair wasn’t so perfect and I didn’t flick my hand around and I wasn’t so… gay acting. So I thought huh, I mustn’t be gay then YAY. Even though the attractions were there, but still hey I’m not gay. Crazy huh, yeah I like boys but I’m not gay :O Hahahaha. Anyways I knew I was being stupid so eventually I left that boat behind.

At 14 I went out online looking for gay men and talked to them and stuff, had phone sex, did stupid things of that kind. I lost my virginity to some random which started a ripple effect and I just wanted to bang every boy on the block, and I did meet quite a few. I thought… This is what this is about, sex. I felt weird since all my life I had dreamed of marrying a girl and having kids and living my life raising a family with her, then when I realized I was into boys, and might be gay my world fell apart.

I had no acceptance for myself at all, I felt all alone in the world because all these guys I was having sexual connections with all seemed to be fine and satisfied. I felt nobody would love me or accept me or know who I really am. So I felt so broken.

Eventually when I was 15 I joined musical theatre, our town was running a production of Grease and being with civilization more I decided to take up a new name ‘Joey’ that couldn’t be rhymed with anything homosexual at all, I felt more safer with that name and slowly that solidified into being what everyone called me, anyways in Grease there was a woman their named Mel who I grew connected to and I remember sitting with her and at the time I hadn’t told anyone in my life that I liked boys so when she asked me ‘Your gay right?’ I full on panicked inside. So I said ‘no, well I don’t know, kind of, I like both I guess’ and that made me feel better. Being in that theatre I thought well all the guys here are probably gay (how wrong I was) and so I felt safe there to be honest and when I started telling a few that I was ‘bisexual’ and they told me that it was cool and there’s nothing wrong with it. There was one boy who was an asshole but meh I didn’t care too much since most people didn’t like him anyway. Eventually I became involved with other gay guys and while I kept saying I was ‘bisexual’ I knew from then that I really wasn’t alone and that so many other guys and girls even are just as insecure as I was about themselves.

I went back to school and just came out as ‘bisexual’ pretty much straight away. A lot frowned on me but majority didn’t care. They accepted it. I told my cousin around that time that I was ‘bisexual’ and she was a little like ‘eww’ but she realized I was still me either way and opened up to me and now it’s not even anything important, I’m just her big gay cousin bestie :D hahaha. But she was really the one that helped me accept I was gay and not bisexual. The way she just embraced it and she asked me ‘are you sure you’re not just gay’ and I realized I’d been denying it and took a breath and said ‘yeah I’m gay, I think I definitely am’. She’s definitely one of my favourite people ever. I love her a lot. And since I’ve told nearly everyone that I was gay, corrected things haha that I’m not bisexual, and most of them really didn’t care to much and didn’t see me any differently.

It was around the end of 2012 and I was in the production of Footrot Flats when I met a guy and I fell for him. He was everything I wanted to be. He was gay and proud of it, he was into theatre and singing like I was, we had a lot in common, he was nearly twice my age but it didn’t worry me, I wanted him and I wanted to one day be the same as him. But meh I thought I wanted that but it turned out he was just a jerk and wanted me only for my body. That devastated me so I wanted to be straight even more now so I wouldn’t get that pain, but I knew that was impossible, I knew in this year being gay was more then just sex and I knew I wanted more then just that. So I moved on eventually and I found out so much about myself, I realize I thrive from love. I’ve gone from fling to fling, heartbroken every time but I still keep looking cause well that’s a big part of who I am. Having a guy in my life just keeps me content. Though I’m trying to learn to make myself content just being myself. It’s still a process. This year I’ve realized who I am to the fullest and where I want to be and what I want in life. This has been one of my best years ever. They said then end of 2012 would bring changes and stuff and it did for me, so much.

I had more flings and things after him, and that’s actually how my parents found out. Really they’re my grandparents but I just call them my parents because they raised me. But I was interested in a guy and I used to like reading back on my messages to guys. So I emailed them to my kindle, anyway I didn’t realize I accidentally sent it to them instead and the next day everything tipped upside down. They were not happy with it. Well, actually they aren’t that happy with it still. I had been caught once and was able to slither out of it but this time I really couldn’t. I told my side that I had always felt that way and that I’ve tried to change but I can’t. I told my nana everything I could about my feelings and how I’ve never felt anything for girls in the way I should. I was terrified; I was scared they would kick me out. That I’d be even more alone. That I’d probably end up dead cause I’d have nothing. I wouldn’t see my 2 brothers again. Everything was just too much for me. But she knows now and I didn’t have any of that happen, I was just paranoid because they’re really against being gay as they’re very religious. They hiss whenever anything gay comes on and nana still talks to me about marrying a girl and one day things will change and stuff though I know she’s denying the fact that I am gay. My uncle (her son) is gay too and she still doesn’t really accept that fact either.

My sister came out to me this year that she was bisexual and into girls a little bit. She’s only 11 so she has challenges ahead which I will obviously help her through. Nana found out about her and wasn’t happy with it either. My littlest brother is also very androgynous and so charismatic so Nana is also scared he might be LGBT and is always trying to make him the way she wants him to be but I hope one day she will stop fearing all of this and realize you can’t stop nature.

Now as I speak today I’m so proud of myself. I’ve gone through such a journey to get to where I am and it was all worth it because I love who I am so much now.

To the haters who made me feel down but now no longer affect me all I can say is a big fat ‘thank you’ thank you so much, you’ve done me so well, you’ve taught me to accept myself. Thank you for all the times you’ve called me queer, faggot, gay, homo, just kudos to you, I know who and what I am now and you guys have just made me so happy for helping me see that. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for what you’ve done for me.

I do hope one day my parents will learn to accept me and maybe be at my wedding or be happy with a guy I choose to be with for the rest of my life and accept everything, but I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up. They have very strong religious beliefs but it’s a hope of mine that one day things will be okay in that area.

To those out there who have been or are in this situation, remember you are not alone. It may hurt to know that you can never change this. Because there’s nothing to change, you are who you are and you are beautiful for that. Show strength and courage in your journey. Embrace the empty words of your haters because they will help you in your future. Take your time; you have all the time in the world. A friend of mine told me something that helped a lot. ‘Your sexuality is not who you are, you don’t even need to be fully sure of it until you want to or you feel your ready’ and I agree, live life rather then spend time panicking and worrying over those feelings because inside you know who you are and that’s all that really matters.

Love who you are because love is what makes this world go around. I didn’t believe in myself, I felt I had so many enemies in this world who hated me because of my sexuality but I realized that I was my own enemy, but I’m good now and I wish the best for all you beautiful people out there who are coming to this stage in life and even those who have embraced themselves, have an amazing life. You can do it and it gets better. Thank you for listening.

HIV/AIDS

If you're gay you have HIV/AIDS right? right? wrong.

HIV/AIDS is one of the many gay stereotypes but it's also a big thing used to undermine gay people these days. That people with the illness are all homosexual but i'm here to tell you that it's one big falsity. It's a faker rumor then barbie so that's saying something.

To get HIV you need either someone infected (doesn't have to be gay!), a method of tranfusion (injection, sexual organ, wound even), and something of the infected to transfer into your own body (blood, semen, vaginal fluids, even breastmilk).

You can't get HIV from kissing it would take 1 in a billion chances because HIV is very thin in the saliva and your body won't let it get into you, plus your stomach acid would just burn it all up if it even reached that far. You can however contract HIV from oral sex but that is highly unlikely aswell, you need to have cuts or wounds within your mouth for the virus to get through.

Also I need to tell you this which some people just don't seem to get: Two people who have not had sex or been exposed to anything HIV, both virginal as ever, will NOT get HIV together. Think about it, how do you pass on something you don't even have :/

It's not just gay people who have it, straight people get it too. Babys get it when infected mothers bore them and breastfeed.

The origin of where HIV come from is inapplicable at the moment. It's a sad disease, i've yet to interview someone who struggles with it so I can get more indepth as to what it is. The main point i'm trying to get through with this though is HIV is everywhere, not in gays, its everywhere. 60% of infected youth don't even know they have it, because these days a lot of teens engage in unprotected sex casually not realizing the risks.

I urge those teenagers gay and straight, if your heading into 'the world of sex' as I like to call it. Make sure that you are prepared. Condoms are a must, unless your ready to start little families or risk disease, don't be reckless. Wrap it before you tap it.

Facebook Page

Since I know blogspot isn't exactly the most popular thing out. I created a facebook page with help from a team of other's which will not only work through facebook but get 'out there' posts from this page :)

Link's here: https://www.facebook.com/lgbtlifenz

Cute transgender couple

Oh my gosh so I found this page telling about a transgender couple and am blown away by how amazing it is. He was a girl, she was a boy. And they've been together for two years! He's 17, she's 19. Their names are Arin Andrews and Katie Hill.

Arin (once named Emerald) always felt like a boy, from his first day of school aged 5. He would be put into the girls line and have no idea why.

Katie (once named Luke) had always felt like a girl but didn't come out to her mother about it till she was 15 years old and asked for help in becoming 'Katie'

The two met at a trans support group in their hometown of Oklahoma.

Arin's mother always wanted him to do feminine things like competing in beauty pageants and ballet. But he was only interested in riding motorcycles and running triathlons, rock-climbing and outdoor boys stuff.

Eventually at age 11 his mother came around it and helped him with his testosterone shots and vowed to pay half of his breast removal surgery if he was able to raise the other half (which is around $7327 NZD)

As Jah mentioned in her interview I wrote, it takes guts to being transgender. He was bullied through highschool... The pretty girl who walks like a boy. Called a lesbian for so long, suicidal thoughts, even KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL.

When he heard about Katie and her transformation from being male to female he was inspired, because everything written was everything he was going through. It was like he was being given an explanation for his own feelings. Thats how he was able to embrace the term 'trans'.

He looked at her and thought she was so beautiful, and looked like Megan Fox, he wanted to know who she was so much and eventually asked for her number. After that they started seeing eachother.

Katie had alot of trouble growing up and just couldn't help being really girly, with a high pitched voice and high cheekbones. Her parents really struggled with their 'sons' lifestyle.

The pair have been together two years now and still going strong. Last year they both has their surgeries to becoming who they want to be. Arin had his breasts removed and now he is flat chested, what he always wanted. Katie's one was interesting, somebody anonymous read about her story in the paper and donated all the money to pay for her surgery. That would be around $68000 NZD! and she's gotten the full, female surgery.

These two lucky lovers :O I want that! hahaha such a beautiful story showing that it's all about the HEARTS not the PARTS when it comes to love. I get sick of these ones who think that love is all about sex. This couple shows the full extent of what love is.. and more. Amazing, inspiring :)

Interview with other transgender people in general

So i've done afew interview's with some transgender people and am loving what's being spoken. I'll post up each person's as soon as it's out.

Jah , MTF transgender woman.
Himiona, MTF transgender woman.
Jaye, MTF transgender woman.

When did you decide you were transgender? How?

Jah - I felt different when I was 4, lol my Nan encouraged it by dressing me up like a girl and I kind of started from then.
Himiona -  I don't think it was something I decided, it was more something learnt. I think like most I tried that gay thing, felt like dressing up, suddenly it became a daily thing. I'm new to it so i'm still finding and learning about it.
Jaye - I didn't decide that I was a transgender. I knew right from the start that I was different.

What's it like being transgender? Could you explain your sexuality a bit?

Jah - It isn’t a lifestyle for the weak, you have got to be quite mentally strong and be able to withstand random peoples thoughts/comments, coz u cant hide being transgender, being gay u can hide it but being transgender openly? Its all out there and if yr not very passable or pretty? Life is much harder, then again when it comes to love or personal intimate relationships some say its better to be "sprung" coz if a guy hits on you? He knows what u are already, if yr too pretty then he’ll get a shock when he finds out yr not all that you appear to be, lol so both sides have there pro's an con's.
Himiona - Well like I said I am still finding myself. So it has been tough at times but i'm still working things out.
Jaye - I know myself that being transgender, I feel more comfortable. And I accept who I am. My sexuality, well.. I am nor male, nor a female. I like to think of myself as a special something and a gift. That is who I am.

Do ever like try hide your sexuality or feel uncomfortable about it?

Jah - Depends on how my hair looks lol i wont leave the house lookng sligtly askew, if i look ok tho then i just walk out an dont care, coz i know i look ok. I dont have a paho or beard, lol if I did? Then id have something to hide/worry about, lol
Himiona - Always, I grew up being told I couldn't do it and stuff so that's why it's not until now i'm learning about myself.

Jaye - I never hide my sexuality or myself. I am loud and proud and I have no shame.

What types of discrimination have you experienced because your transgender?

Jah - I wasn’t bullied or discriminated in school, I had one bully that I dealt to but I’ve never had rants or words called out at me, tho last year I went to the doctor an she was new to me, wasn’t accepting, and when she looked up my file she was shocked to see my details an then she turned on me an said she couldn’t help me, and I had to see another doctor, like a had green blood and I was catchy, lol small minded idiot she was/is,
Himiona - Allsorts really. I've been called everything under the sun. By strangers and people I know. I've never been physically abused. The only time was at school.
Jaye - I personally haven't experienced discrimination but I have witnessed others and I feel that there is no respect. Respect plays a big part of being transgender. I grew up in a family that being who ever you were only mattered to you and if you were happy, than support and love was there always.

What stage are you at with becoming a full woman/man?

Jah - I’m fully complete now, post op lol now I just have to get my man to propose an marry me, lol
Himiona - That's the thing I don't know really. I wanna go the full way. In my head, I am me. How I choose to dress is feminine to compliment it.
Jaye - I am me, and I am in transformation.

Are you pre-op? Or post-op? Afterwards do you still class as 'transgender' or not?

Jah - In my mind I’ve always been a girl so I just see myself as a woman. And u just need some surgical changes to align yr mental/spiritual with yr physical.
Himiona - I don't think I can go through that pain. I try to think of myself as me so I can't change anything or I won't be me.

Jaye - I am me, and I am in transformation.

Do you consider yourself a straight woman/man? How exactly does it work?

Jah - I only like men, only attracted to heterosexual men, tho I’ve heard of other transgender girls who go after other transgender girls, but that just freaks me out, lol I like my cock in a jock, not a cock in a frock, lol
Himiona - This is what I say I am claustrophobic so my answer would be, I won't be put in a box of an kind until i'm dead.
Jaye - I consider myself being a woman. I live my life as a woman. There shouldn't be a question how does it work, its basically about personal reference and about how you want to be treated.

A bit shame but ummm which bathroom do you use?

Jah - I always use the ladies, lol
Himiona - The unisex or disabled if that's not an option... I use the females.
Jaye - I use the female toilet wherever I go.

What's something that's really encouraged or discouraged you in your journey?

Jah - People think coz yr transgender that yr a hooker or a drugee or both, so most people look down on us as street trash or people who are lost cause so as a trans I’ve always felt I’ve had to work harder, be better, live better and always look better than the norm, to show that we aren’t all cocksuckers or street workers, we can be just as good as anyone else, if I was physically disabled an was mentally impaired then id be a lost cause, but I’m in full working order so I cant complain. Just gotta get on with it.
Himiona - Encouraged would be my sisters and my friends. Discouraged would be when women compare who I am to a ''real'' woman.

Jaye - Something that has really encouraged me on my journey is the support and love from family and friends and me offering advice to our young transgenders that are sprouting, offering them support and making them sure that they know that there are many people out there that are in the same position. Always giving a hand is the main part of it all.

How has your family accepted you as being transgender?

Jah - My family was accepting but to my extended family that don’t know me? Or have ever met me? They aren’t, coz they don’t know me very well, and I’m guessing when they heard about me they probably "assumed" I was a prostitute or a drugee or both, lol stereotypes really suck.
Himiona - I think they see me as a male who dresses up.
Jaye - My family has accepted me from day one. My whole family is either gay, trans, lesbian and all other genders but what kept our family strong is that we never judged one another and nor did our elders look down on us as if we were something else. So the knowledge that was handed to me, I love to share.

Thank you for your time,

Jah - All good Hun xox
Himiona - I know but like I said I still have to find out more of who I am.
Jaye - There you are love

I love transgender people so much. Their strength and passion, and belief in who they are just overwhelms me. They make me so happy. I can't wait to hear from many others in the future.

Things I love in guys

Guys with some of these things... Definitely make the cut. I wish I had a guy with all of these. But no :/ single as ever.

Send’s long and soppy messages about how much I’m loved
18+ years old - 25
Looks me in the eye when I’m talking to him
Plays with my hair
Writes cute little letters and leaves them where I’ll find them
Compliments me
Protective but not overprotective
Good personality
Humorous
Has abit of weight (75kgs minimum)
Nice hair, tidy, not messy looking (like harry styles -_- no thank you) and preferably only one colour
Serious yet carefree
Honest to me
Loves movies
Isn’t homeless or poor
Can sing or dance (one of the two)
Mutual interests
Not an alcoholic or a drug addict
Sweet and caring
Nice smile
Good reputation
Classy
Can be a diva at times and a little bitchy in defense
Great kisser
Relaxed
Not forgetful
Can cook
A little dorky
Romantic
Down to earth
Supports me in every way and all my decisions
Is concerned for some of the things I get myself into, cares about my wellbeing but respects my choice
Self-confident
Likes being crazy with me and losing control (to a point)
Faithful to me
Treats others and me with respect
Calls me rather then texts but when he texts, sends x’s in nearly every message
Likes some supernatural videos
Will watch musicals with me
Doesn’t crowd me
Loves me and will do anything for my love
Will talk to me about his problems and seek me for guidance
Trusts me
Talks dirty to me but not too much
Likes to have a drink now and again
Stands up for me
Healthy
Loves black
Cuddles me from behind and holds me till I fall asleep
A little spiritual
Calls me a range of names (cutie, beautiful, sweetie etc.)
SEXY!
6/10 rate at minimum
Want’s to marry me and be with me for a long time
Would never dream about breaking my heart
Appreciates me
Peaceful and resilient


Would love to hear other people's lists of their idea of a perfect partner hahaha imagine away