Stages of LGBT Sexuality Development

There's alot of different things you could think of when it comes to someone within the LGBT community becoming... well, apart of it. The stages here are pretty general, if you think you might have feelings for the same gender you might not even go through some of these... but hopefully this could be a small help at the least.

Identity confusion

You may be asking yourself, What the hell is going on?! You might start denying what you're feeling and stuff.

You always thought you were straight as. Everyone is convinced that you are. But now you start feeling... thing's for members of the same sex and you just want to know... What the hell is happening to me?!

At this stage you might not be comfortable saying it out loud, might even deny it and get defensive if somebody ask's you about it, lying to people... and to yourself. But secretly you wish you might wish to know more so in private you may seek information on... what's happening.

Identity comparison

As you may have started accepting your feelings for the same sex you could maybe see differences between yourself and other people. You might feel alone and that you don't really fit with anyone.

Identity tolerance

(Knowing who you are and being ok about it)

You'll start getting used to having these feelings and can start moving on to being who you are without worrying so much. You might even start opening up to a few people.

Identity acceptance

(You are who you, Me, You, US!)

Now you're pretty used to the feelings and you're allgoods with it. You're at that spot when you're ready to tell all. It's good to ask others about their experiences, maybe trying out the rainbow youth site. You might want to even meet other LGBT people or join a group. Rainbow Youth actually runs quite afew social groups in Auckland. While you might be feeling proud of it, be aware you could slowly feel angry about all that time you felt you'd wasted keeping things hidden. But remember, that's normal. That is a stage of development that most people LGBT will go through.

Identity synthesis

Now it's time to move on, you don't care anymore about the way you feel... You know now it's apart of you so now it's time to stop worrying and focus on other things. You may feel comfortable with your sexuality but you know that there are times your not as keen to express yourself. But the great thing is, the acceptance of other's has now become less if at all, important. You shouldn't care anymore what people think because you know who you are and accept it. Nowhere but up from there :)

If you would like to find out more:

If these are things you’re thinking about, Rainbow Youth can help. If you’re in Auckland, you may like to visit the Drop-in centre or have the option of joining the G.Q. (Generation Queer Group) for 13-20 year-olds, or I.D. (Identity Group) for 18-27 year-olds.

You can also contact Rainbow Youth with your question(s), or try one of these alternative phone lines or online chats with info given below- Contact numbers/Freephone and operation Hours, active websites and links for more information Available and also have lists of support groups in the North and South islands. GLBT Admin will be sure to include social groups of possible interest within major cities in New Zealand and those that may benefit living in small towns nearby and/or Rural districts.

(Note: Keep in mind when contacting any of the helplines below, you do have the option to remain anonomous and withold personal information at your own discretion and that everything you choose to disscuss is held confidential.)

OUTLine

Phone counselling for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, curious or questioning individuals
10am – 10pm
Phone (09) 303 3584 or Freephone 0800 OUTLINE (0800 688 5463)
Website www.outlinenz.com

Youthline

Crisis/counselling Line
11am – 11pm daily
Phone (09) 376-6633 or Freephone 0800 37 66 33
Website www.youthline.co.nz
Community face-to-face counselling is also available. Contact the Youthline office on (09) 376-6645 9am – 5pm Monday to Friday to make an appointment.

What’s Up

Free telephone counselling service for New Zealanders aged 5 to 18 years
12pm-12am (noon to midnight) 7 days week
Phone 00800 WhatsUp (0800 942 8787)
Website www.whatsup.co.nz

Lifeline

24-hour phone counselling
Phone (09) 522 2999
Website www.lifeline.co.nz

Youth Groups

GQ (Generation Queer)

GQ is the Rainbow Youth social group for 18 year olds and under. GQ is a place young people can come together to meet others like themselves, chat about life, school and just relax. Meet fortnightly on Fridays in Rainbow Youth Centre

I.D (Identity)-www.rainbowyouth.net.nz/our-groups/i-d/

I.D. is the Rainbow Youth social group for 18 to 27 year olds. Meet every week on Sunday in Rainbow Youth Centre.

G-IQ (Gender Identity Quest)-www.rainbowyouth.net.nz/our-groups/g-i-q/

This Rainbow Youth social group is especially for young people who are questioning their gender identity, ages 13 – 27. Contact the Rainbow Youth Centre if you’re interested in attending this group.

Q4S (Queer4Shore)-www.rainbowyouth.net.nz/our-groups/queer4shore/

Based in Takapuna, is the North Shore group for 13 to 27 year olds. Meet once a fortnight on Fridays (alternate to GQ meetings), 5pm-7pm at Phab for 13 to 27 year olds. Check URL for more details!

OUT and ABOUT-www.rainbowyouth.net.nz/out-and-about/

Is the East and South Auckland group based in Papatoetoe. Meet once a fortnight on Fridays (alternate to GQ meetings), 5pm to 6:30pm at Youthline Manukau for 13 to 27 year olds. Check URL for more details!

QWEST-www.rainbowyouth.net.nz/out-west/

West Auckland group based in Henderson. Meet once a fortnight on Saturdays 3 – 5pm. check URL for more details!